By: James F. O’Neil

Do you have a favorite song–or a song you call your “own”?

Couples usually have an answer to this question.  Unfortunately, some couples born into the psychedelic and Dr. Timothy Leary eras have “The Wall” or “Baby, Light My Fire” or “Judy Blue Eyes”–or maybe even a alcohol-induced wail by Janis Joplin, or something stronger by The Doors.

Usually a favorite song evokes feelings of sentiment, or a memory of a place special to a couple for some milestone, or it might even be the timeliness of the song that makes it so special–so nostalgic…

One song that was popular in the spring of 1963 was one sung by Andy Williams: “Can’t Get Used to Losing You”:

Can’t get used to losin’ you no matter what I try to do.
Gonna live my whole life through…loving you.

…no one else could take your place.

The nice rhythm of the music, and the lyrics, makes for easy listening.  However, for a young person with a broken heart, the words evoke feelings of hurt and sadness, maybe disgust, even anger.  Most of the time, however, reason prevails, and time heals all wounds.                         

After my first serious relationship ended, my broken heart healed.  Yet every so often I found myself drifting along on Michigan Avenue, in Chicago, hearing “Can’t get used to losing you…” seeming to come from everywhere.

Michigan Avenue 1962

Photo Credit: Shorpy.com

Time passed.  My life took a turn.  I was with a new friend.  My heart was truly mended, healed!

Some would have said the song for the new relationship was “Rubber Ball”: bounce, bounce, bounce.  Some would have thought we were two star-crossed lovers on the rebound. 

The Universe employs the Principle of Correlation: the longer a couple talks together, stays together, they understand one another. 

And what song for this correlation?  Barbra Streisand was singing about “People: people who need people….” 

But was another song playing?  Was that now Andy Williams singing “. . . off to see the world”?

[Music plays]: Yes, Andy Williams–again.  Something about a river?  The 1961 song was from the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s“Two drifters, off to see the world.”

But for the new couple, a favorite song? 

Was there a favorite musical composition that could pull together the special times, the good times?

Is there a song that goes something like “Hand-in-hand, we walked along Oak Street Beach, with the Moon…”?  Highly doubtful. 

Perhaps something more like “Moon River”:

Moon River, wider than a mile,…

Yet, what of “Two drifters, off to see the world”?

And what of “My huckleberry friend, Moon River, and me”?

There was no river.  Yet, we were off to see the world, my new friend and I–and there was such a lot of world to see.  There we were: 20 and 22, with a recently found three-room apartment, my new job, and a ’62 Corvair.  In addition, we were friends, huckleberry friends (whatever that meant, though I happened to be reading Huckleberry Finn).

And that’s our song.  But, more importantly, I’m so glad it was not “Singing ‘Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do’”!  [Manfred Mann – 1964]

©  James F. O’Neil  2013

A precious memory: On the occasion of the passing of Andy Williams, 25 September 2012. 

Andy_williams_1969 Wikipedia

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

By: James F. O’Neil

“Nostalgia is the product of personal memory; it is an expression of fond regret for time lost” (Jeffrey Simpson, Chautauqua: An American Utopia, Abrams, 1999: 10).  “Missing” something–or someone–can cause a kind of pain.  And “nostalgia” is a pain, bittersweet: bitter for reminiscence of the reality, yet sweet, for it was good or fun.

Sights, tastes, and smells evoke the past, sometimes just a quick sentimental journey for a brief moment.  I remember my psychology prof telling us that the SMELL of Crayolas brought about most memories of happy times and places. 

Do I have some regrets now, missing some things of the past that provided pleasure?   

At times, after a good meal, or in a moment of relaxation, I MISS MY CAMELS.

Camel-Cigarettes

(Picture Credit: biggone.com)

That missing, but not needing, is my “perfect” example of nost + algia: the “return home” and the “algia,” the pain (like fibromyalgia or neuralgia).   I MISS MY CAMELS. 

“Severe bronchitis”: in 1972, my doctor told me.  There I was, a pack-a-day smoker.  Since 1959-1960, I had begun to smoke. Lucky Strikes, then Camels, and other brands I cannot remember.  (I do recall those days of pilfering: removing a Chesterfield from a pack lying around on a table at home.)  My bout with bronchitis, however, brought me to awareness: not of lung cancer or other smoking-related illnesses, but to just good breathing.  The doctor told me to stop smoking.  I do not know how I did it.  But I did, cold turkey, as they say, yet with the help of my wife’s chicken soup.

Nevertheless, my Camel senses linger: feel, taste, and sight: nostalgia.

No matter where I am, drug store, grocery store, airport–any place where I see Camels sold (no longer 25 cents a pack)–I can taste the tobacco flavor, smell the smoke, see the wisps of smoke I exhale (or try to make into little smoke rings).  However, probably the most particular memory-impression is my sense of feel, the smooth paper–and that white cigarette between my fingers.

Nostalgia, when I hear “Don’t Bogart that…  [cigarette].”  Or hear lyrics “…Bogart and Bacall…” or see them: Oh, how he and she blew smoke at one another, and held those smokes.  

220px-Humphrey_Bogart_by_Karsh_(Library_and_Archives_Canada)

(Photo: Karsh: Library and Archives, Canada)

I am certain I was and still am addicted to cigarettes.  When I was teaching in a classroom with a chalkboard, I was careful not to hold my chalk like holding a cigarette.  If I did, if the chalk happened to roll out of my hand between my fingers, if I began playing with the chalk, I wanted to let the chalk rest there, then slowly I could put that piece of chalk (no matter white or yellow) between my lips, inhale, and blow.  Nothing.

Oh, the “algia”: the good feeling, the feel-good memory, but with the pain of loss.

I recognize this is an anecdote of such triviality.  Certainly, it is not equal to the nostalgic feelings and memories of the feel, smell, or sights of a former lover or beloved, to the feelings at the loss of a pet, or the loss of a child.  Certainly overwhelming nostalgia.

But then again, remembering the prom, the graduation, the wedding: pain, and happiness, as in the great movie Always.  There a song brings memory, and then the pain accompanies the awareness of loss.  Yet wonderful and fulfilling memories.  (I love that movie.)

Always poster

(Photo Poster Credit: impawards.com)

That movie contains the essence of nostalgia for me.

So, here I am, the non-smoker.  I miss my Camels, but I understand I cannot go back, cannot “go home again.” 

Besides, “The Surgeon General Has Determined That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous To Your Health.”  That works for me.

© James F. O’Neil 2013

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By:  James F. O’Neil

When we sorted out our wedding gifts in October 1963, my wife and I had received some nice dishes, stainless tableware, pots and pans, and enough cash to allow us to enjoy a comfortable wedding night and honeymoon. 

And so we began our marriage.  And the cooking of meals.  Our pots and pans provided their usefulness, as needed.  Sometime after 1972, however, we acquired “the incomparable, the original” Rival Crock-Pot, a new item of interest for the cooks of the ‘70s. 

The original slow-cooker pot was actually known as a “beanery” and was made for cooking up a pot of beans.  The item was marketed as “The Naxon Beanery All-Purpose Cooker.”  (See Whoguides.com for more information and Wikipedia for a history of the cooker.)

naxon beanery all-purpose cooker  (Photo courtesy of an eBay seller)

As often happens with many good inventions, larger companies see a greater audience and “want in on the deal.”  Eventually, Naxon was bought out by the Rival Company in 1971.

And so it goes.  Yet for the better for us, a target audience who needed to have meals prepared by a cooker that “cooks all day while the cook’s away.”  The burnt-orange-colored Rival Crock-Pot, Model No. 3100, Capacity 3 ½ qt, was the answer.

 (Photo: freshveggiesinthedesert.wordpress)

(Photo: freshveggiesinthedesert.wordpress)

 

Over time, the crock-pot became a “modern marvel” for our busy family.  It first allowed both of us working parents to make the Favorite Chili and the special Beef Stew for our kids in school.  Then other recipes, like Stuffed Peppers, became the new favorites–in fact, still one of the best food items to be done in the crock-pot.

The boys going to games and practices, after-play-rehearsals, high school graduation parties (in 1982 and 1985), wedding anniversaries, and just plain-old family gatherings  activated the recipes for the best B-B-Q ’s and Sloppy Joe’s, well done in our Vintage Rival Crock-Pot.

But change came–and for whatever reason, we purchased a bigger, newer model.  The old favorite was put into storage, and nearly forgotten.

In summer 2005, the Vintage happy crock-pot made its way to Cottage #66 in Epworth Park, Bethesda, Ohio.  The well-worn recipe book is still being splattered with sauce, and continues to provide guidance for delicious meals in the cottage kitchen–now for busy vacationers.  The cooker still “cooks all day while the cook’s away.”

(The O'Neil Crock-Pot)

(The O’Neil Crock-Pot)

 © James F. O’Neil 2013

By: James F. O’Neil

Many seasonal jobs and temporary positions rely upon college students to apply, especially fast-food establishments.  I have never worked at a fast-food restaurant with fast-food menus.  My restaurant experience, however, took place at the O’Hare Inn in Des Plaines, Illinois.  The Henrici’s Restaurant there had a large dining room with an outstanding menu, and large activity halls for weddings and parties.

Photo credit: Chuckman’s Collection of Postcards

As a college student, I needed part-time work to help with usual expenses and summer activities (including gas for the car to go to the beach or to visit with friends in the area).

I began my new job as a bus boy in the large celebration dining room and halls, doing the usual chores, helping servers with distribution of dinner plates of food, clearing tables, then handing out desserts.  After the last wedding song or dance, or after the last speech–when guests left–the real work began: removing the detritus of celebratory gatherings.  Knives, forks, plates, table cloths, glasses, flowers and flower vases, ash trays, empty bottles and cups and saucers–uneaten cake, half-empty glasses of wine,  partially-filled wine bottles, and on and on: the aftermath of partying was cleared away.

Occasionally, were the festivities long lasting, the servers ate together, usually in three-quarter time, whatever happened to be on the menu.  Good food I soon learned.

I enjoyed the work, but not the rush, not the stress.  Working during the summer did give me a change of pace from studies, however, an opportunity to mingle with workers and even customers, and a time to try to determine what my schooling and life-as-cliché “were really all about.”  What I enjoyed mostly was working with the women servers and hostesses.  I had not had much contact with females in my away-at-college jobs, since I was attending an all-male school.

I had become good at my work, made friends, and learned my sense of duty–so much so that I was recommended (by the women, as a matter of fact) to the assistant manager to “move up.”  This was the “big time,” the “show,” the place of the black-vest-and-tuxedo-jacket-uniform of only males in the dining room.  I was a classy bus boy–with “other duties as assigned.”  I would train to be a “flamer,” then a wine steward.  No females were allowed to perform like this in the dining room (as I remember).

The flamer had to cook at table side those various Henrici’s specialties like shish kebab, filet mignon (Chateaubriand), frog legs; and cherries jubilee or bananas Foster.  It was show; for the chefs cooked, then sent me out to heat and serve, with the twists of the wrists, or the holding of forks-and-spoons-as-one, to baste in butter, or seasoned juices, to cut and serve the meat, with red-to-pink centers of pepper-encrusted aged beef tenderloins.  I did the show, then did the serving, with the twists of my wrists.  (I recall dropping a frog leg only once–hopped right out of the hot butter onto the carpet…)

I opened wine bottles, mostly without crumbling a cork; I twisted open bottles of champagne without the cinematic geysers that spoil effervescence.  I was careful, having learned to make not even a “Pop.”     

So there I was, wearing my best, with corkscrew and flamer cart and all the needed preparations, ready to ignite brandy or cognac or whatever other liqueurs I used, trying carefully not to ignite myself or a customer.  (That “Whoosh!” sound surprised me time after time, the instant ignition, sound-with-yellow-flame-and-heat, capable of singeing hairs on a customer’s neck or arm…  I…did…singe…) 

I finished my tenure at Henrici’s and returned to graduate from college.

Once, soon after we were married, I took my new bride to Henrici’s at the O’Hare Inn, to eat a fancy meal with wine and Chateaubriand for two.  And a flamed dessert.  I simply had to take her there to show off–to show her what I used to do before we met.  The dining room looked smaller, though, than it did when I was bustling around from table to table. 

Perhaps it was always thus, though I was too occupied to recognize that the restaurant was a great place to go and be seen–and to have excellent food.  With the ambiance of upscale dining and with upper-shelf alcohol served, the Inn became an oasis in a growing community, an oasis for those who did not need to travel to Downtown Chicago for dining pleasure.

Oh, I have never had frog legs (though they are supposed to taste like chicken).

© James F. O’Neil  2013